If wishes were carrots I'd feed the world

So my birthday is coming up and I'm sure you're all wondering what you should get me. Well, I don't want you to stress overmuch. I will simply tell you and you can do the right thing. I should warn you that you might all have to get together and pony up some cash; my wish might be too big for just one of you.
I want alpaca. Not one those charming animals to feed and care for.

Aren't they super cute! But the cat is almost too much for me. I want the end product: the fiber. I want beautiful alpaca yarn, enough to knit a sweater with. But it is so blasted expensive that I can't handle the guilt of buying enough for a sweater. I already feel guilty about the yarn I do buy and it is not so expensive. Maybe I feel bad because I'm not actually wearing any of the sweaters I have made. In fact, no one is. I'm a sweater failure. I guess I need to finish (I swear they're almost done) the ones I have and get them out into the world for general sweater wearing. I can think of four that just need little finishing touches. How sad. This doesn't mean that I don't want more yarn. There is always room for a little more.
Let me admit that I know you guys aren't going to buy me $80 worth of yarn (you can if you want) but now that you have this reminder, a card?